long night
I don’t know what to say today. It was a long night. I just couldnt sleep. I was tired and sleepy but somehow when I got to bed I kept tossing and turning. But my body was really tired.
Anger is not good. I hate having a friend who I always have to walk on egg shells all the time. And I have had it. I cannot be always careful on what I will say all the time. Rules and regulations. Saying it reminds me of me. It is something I am really praying and I want to change. I do not want people fearing talking to me or approaching me because I spark too much all the time. Its really disheartening because you will never have true friends. Yes they say people should love you for you but, one should also create an atmosphere that allows them to enjoy being with you.
Talking of friends, do I have friends right now? I know of one I can count on anytime Ms E. She is the best of the best! She is one person who God knows I need in my life. She has been there for me in times when I have felt like the world has deserted me. She listens and gives sound judgement, and she doesnt judge. My other best friend is my brother who on that note is going for an interview today. God Bless him mightly, he needs this break. He is one of the people I can say who loves me for me. There days I have gone quiet, not talked, quarreled with him but he has stood by me. And not forgeting my mother. Who even though we have had our ups and downs she has stood by me.
So that is the kind of friend I want to be to anyone who I connect with now. Someone they can rely on. Someone who will not give up on anyone. That reminds me, my heart is pushing me to talk to Steve, to call him and ask him we meet. But with all honesty is that the solution? Haven’t I asked enough, how much is enough?
Thats my questions for the day.
